Relationships

A big part of the mutual support we classmates give one another is the relations we form.We visit and encourage one another as we wait, ride the shuttle, hang out in the chemo waiting area, sit in the various medical offices. We all look very similar: a frail patient, usually with a mask, slowly moving about, often with head covering, possibly a walker, outer garment on even in hot weather, a chemo pump. The caregivers have book bags or small roller bags with support supplies, reading materials, blankets, etc.

So, we are a distinctive group sharing a foxhole together. Someone used the term 'band of brothers.' That's us!

Carlos is a classmate from Mobile. Back last month when Deb was getting regular iv's of platelets, he got one and it put him in the hospital until today. We would see his wife and encourage her each time. Today Carlos was released from the hospital so he can resume his myeloma treatments. Happiness is an understatement.

Jim is a new relationship. His wife is the myeloma patient. They live near Marianna, Fl. He was raised near Athens and is in his late seventies. He was very talkative and open about growing up as a sharecropper in a family of ten children whose father was seriously injured when Jim was four. His white land owner made sure his family had everything they needed. He would even hold back some of the milk they got from the cows. Weekly he would holler down the road for Jim's family and they would make ice cream together. The ten children got all the much-appreciated hand-me-down clothes and toys.  Jim said he never encountered racism until he went to the city. He said on the farm the blacks and whites all worked and played together. Not so in the city!

His occupation was highway paving. His first job was repaving Marianna AFB runways. Later he helped pave the then new I-75 from Atlanta all the way up north. He paved highways as far north as Detroit, always returning home in the south.

Jim's upbringing was remarkable similar to my own father's early years. The austere raising imprinted on my father and much of my own serious nature is heavily influenced by my father's experiences.

As I watch classmates,  I see some that don't look like they will make it. It's sad. Couples who clearly love one another.  I see such demonstrations of love by most caregivers (Not all! Sometimes I want to take corrective action) On my list of questions to be asked in heaven is this: Why did a loving God allow Godly couples to be split by the death of a spouse? Why Lord? Why?

Twenty five years ago right here in North Little Rock we were here for C-130 training in my USAF Reserve unit. We attended a small neighborhood church. I was very inspired by the seventy year  old pastor,whose wife had crippling arthritis. Her fingers were bent backwards. She was pretty helpless and wheelchair bound. The pastor planned his day around her care. He would have meetings, then return home to care for her, all on a regular schedule. His loving care was as if Jesus were caring for her to me. Extreme love!

Later, a Seminary president in South Carolina with a very promising career resigned to care for his sick wife. Many spoke of his example. Later, in my own church, the founder of the church lovingly cared for his wife throughout her alzheimer's disease and eventual death. These examples of Godly men I respected have shown me a pattern of Jesus' care for each of us.

Which also points out what I always told the children: One is always an example to others. Whether it is a good or bad example is up to us.

I love Deb and fully expect her to come out of this disease and lead a long and somewhat normal life. She will have limitations and have to be carefully monitored, but I think she will make it! Wait and see the miracles the Lord will perform!

Vern