Deb's delicate hand in mine

Holding Deb's hand tonight provoked an emotional response in me that I will share.

Tonight was a quiet evening together after a momentous occasion in our life: a stem cell transplant.The stem cell transplant was not especially technologically overwhelming when it finally happened; in fact, it was fairly simple and quick, but it represents life to us.

If it takes, and if the protocols work as we hope and pray, then years will be added to Deb's life and much pain and family distress avoided, or at least postponed until a more acceptable and appropriate age.

Being with Deb constantly may not allow me the same reaction that someone who only periodically sees Deb might have, but it certainly gives me a unique perspective.

Since I've been holding that sweet hand for nigh unto 36 years, it is precious to me. It has prepared many meals, stitched many seams, comforted and clothed our children and me, and helped many. But holding Deb's hand tonight was a very emotional thing for me tonight as it is so delicate and vulnerable, as is her whole physical being. I feel a strong urge to protect her and to shelter her from harm. Losing >40 pounds and >4 inches as well as her beautiful and always natural hair magnifies her delicate personhood and the suffering and changes she has endured and that I have been witness to.

This cancer thing is evil. So many around us suffer from it. Families are greatly affected and changed by it. The fight outlined in the plan I posted is not simple nor are the results guaranteed.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our bodies are so complex. Only our maker and designer's touch can heal and whether or not he uses medicine or a direct miracle, or chooses not to heal at all is his perogative.

So we pray. Exercise faith. Endure. Wait.Hope.Trust.Comfort.Protect.Worship.

Regardless of the outcome.

We hold hands.

Vern