Deb Passed Away at 7:45 am today. She was surrounded by husband Vern, children Trey, Amanda, and Stephen.
Yesterday was a watershed day. Deb had been doing well outwardly and was fully mentally alert and aware of what was going on. Deb was talking to nurses and the doc and as the day wore on, she became less aware. Last evening when Stephen arrived it was as if she felt she could finally say goodbye. The evening was hard breathing and this morning she passed away peacefully except for the ever increasing hard breathing.
Plans are underway and will be announced on this blog. We appreciate your prayers and acts of love.
Vern and family
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The following was written last night for publication this morning. Trey was spending the night with Deb and very early this morning should took a big turn for the worse
Son Stephen arrived in Little Rock last night to join his brother Trey and sister Amanda in surrounding Deb with love.
Prior to Stephen's arrival, we all met with Dr van Rhee and discussed reality. He lost his own mother back in Holland last month. He is so compassionate and wise! He understands exactly where we are as a family.
Deb will not be with us much longer. In the past few days the lesion on her breastbone has begun to grow inward pushing on her lungs and making her very short of breath. One of her kidneys is very infected. She has a serious virus in her bloodstream. She has a strong cough.
If the stem cells were to take and restore her immune system, she would still have the rapidly growing cancer to deal with. Radiation and chemo have both been ruled out because of her condition.
Deb had made Dr van Rhee promise he would send her home to die if she were not being healed. It has become too late to get Deb home safely. Her care would be severely interrupted by the travel. She could no longer fly because her low platelets could cause uncontrollable bleeding in the air. An ambulance trip would be a severe trial for a healthy person plus require trained nurses and supplies. So, Deb 'forgave' the promise and the kids and I agree that staying here is best for Deb and us.
Trey and Amanda have had time with a fully-conscious Deb. Stephen is spending tomorrow and tomorrow night (Thursday) with Deb. On Friday, the strong antibiotics will be halted, and a Pallative Dr will help keep Deb comfy until she passes. She may last a few days, or perhaps since she is so young, the doc said, she may last longer. Deb will have momentary periods of awareness, then sleep until the pain killers keep her asleep all the time. She has a catheter and will get a painkiller pump tomorrow. Communications is already very challenging.
We have all shed tears and hugs. We love Deb so much. Soon she will experience her first day in heaven and tremendous gain! But, we will remain for a while to miss her and mourn our loss. Before we left the hospital tonight, Stephen and I rubbed her legs and feet with her favorite lotion. I knelt at her side, stroking her tiny hand and prayed for her: peace and calmness for her last days. Hot tears blinded me and I'm sure many more will follow.
Tonight I got an email with a wedding picture from a classmate whose wife died last year. It would have been Bubba and Iva Jo's 38th anniversary. The next email I opened was from a friend, Cheryl, whose Sheriff husband was shot to death last year. She said it would have been their 38th anniversary also.
Vern, Trey, Amanda, and Stephen all plan on staying here until Deb passes. Deb has asked for cremation. We will be having a Celebration of Life at our church in Fayette County, Ga after that. Details will be posted here.
Blessings!
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It's not the best day ever, but the family is making progress. We are planning a celebration of Deb's life Saturday Dec 8th at 11:00am at Grace Evangelical Church in Fayetteville, Ga.
Directions @ http://gracechurchfayette.org/aboutus/timesanddirections/
Making arrangements to get everyone back to Georgia. Thanks Angels!
More to come . . . .
Vern
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Trey and Stephen apparently made in onboard the flight to Atlanta. Amanda and I have been taking care of Deb's personal affects. Pharmacist Angel Carla met us and took care of a huge bag of strong meds. Thanks Carla!
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Dear Vern, Trey, Amanda and Trey,
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are on our hearts. I can imagine Deb crossing the river and seeing Dr. and Mrs. Owens standing there to greet her with open arms and a hearty, "Let's just praise the Lord together." I will continue to check the blog for updates about the memorial service.
Love, Mary and Warren
Dear Vern, Trey, Amanda and Stephen
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to each of you, Debbie was a very special person and friend. She was always so full of life. I'll never forget her and the times I got to spend with her and the family. The Tennessee Thanksgiving's will always be apart of my life. Cody and I were talking about you all the other day. Know that she is in a better place where no pain or shortness of breath occurs. My prayers are with you all.
Cindy McIntyre Ayers
Vern, Trey, Amanda, and Stephen as well as your spouses and precious children,
ReplyDeleteI am feeling so sad for all of us who knew and loved precious Deb. Words can't express my sympathy to you all. So many fun and wonderful memories have flooded my mind today. I thought of Deb each day. Celebrating her life here and entry to heaven. My love to all of you. Jan Williams
Dear Mr. Darley and Family,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of the passing of your precious wife. My heart breaks for you, knowing you face difficult days ahead. I know her heavenly reward is great for the kindness and compassion she always showed others despite her own suffering. What a testimony. The staff of MIRT will miss her greatly because she was always a bright spot in everyone's day. I'll always remember her beaming with joy talking about those grandbabies. You all touched our lives in ways we'll never forget. It goes without saying that we will be praying for you. Love to all of you. Kerri Hill
I am so saddened at this news. My heart goes out to you all. I have followed everyday her progress and am just so sad that it turned out this way. She was so brave, and strong and a true warrior. Vern, you are an amazing husband,I am so sorry for your loss. She is not suffering now, and is free of this body.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts to all your family at this very difficult time.
I have been praying for all of you. I read your blog daily as I lost my precious mom to MM last April. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Stella
ReplyDeleteVern and Family,
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for all of you. I know that Deb is with God now. As both a person with myeloma myself, and as a fellow Christian, you and Deb have always...and will continue to, inspire me and my wife.
May God be with you all.
David (and Jen) Saj
We are so sorry to hear this news. Know that you all are in our hearts and prayers. I lost my mom to cancer 11 years ago. Deb reminded me my mom and how much she impacted every one around her. Deb is free now and in Jesus' arm. Praise God, we have a hope, a great hope. Sending you all our love and prayers during these difficult days. Love,
ReplyDeleteSilvi and Rich
I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you all. I will continue to pray for all of you.
ReplyDeleteRobin,(Suzanne, and Max)
Dear Vern, Trey, Amanda, and Stephen:
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathy to you. I have know Deb since college days as well as seeing her in art lessons with Chris D. I am so sorry for for your loss. Deb was a delightful friend; a generous person who had many hobbies and interests; a person who loved and valued her friends and family; and a person who loved the Lord and is there with Him now. Vern, you and Deb's family have been an inspiration to me as I have watched this story unfold on your blog. May the Lord be with you and yours in this time of sorrow. Deb C.
Dear Vern and Family,
ReplyDeleteWe are so very sorry for your loss. Though we were able to see Deb only occasionally, she was always gracious and angelic. We will keep you and Deb in our prayers. The Lord will give you all strength and will assuredly accept Deb into His Kingdom. May God bless you.
Sincerely,
The Sages, Randy, Nancy Craig and Katy
Oh Friends...
ReplyDeleteI am so heartbroken. I love all of you a lot. I am so glad that you all loved Deb so well these last days. My heart and prayers are with you.
Vern and family,
ReplyDeleteI am so sad to hear about Deb's passing. Deb was such a role model for all Myeloma patients in her fight despite her difficult and aggressive Myeloma. I will forever remember her cheerfulness and great spirits, and the way she never complained and took everything in stride and with a smile on her face. She was an amazing lady full of kindness. I will also never forget the way Vern so lovingly cared for Deb, hour after hour and year after year. You two were wonderful friends to me in my Myeloma journey and will miss you lots. I hope Deb is in a better place and I wish your family the very best. Love,
Eva Jettmar (patient from Austria)
Vern, I am so sorry for your loss. You were truly unceasing in your service to your beloved wife, and demonstrated the most pure true love in every minute of your calm and loving care. You have all of us as witness's that you did everything possible for Deb, and helped us see the unselfish unconditional love of Christ in action. Deb was blessed to have you, and now both of you will rest until ye meet again in Heaven. Prayers and hugs, God bless you always, Grace
ReplyDeleteDeb, Vern, their kids, and the staff in Arkansas have shown us all how to live and love when faced with a monster. Thank you for that. Let her smile carry you forward.
ReplyDeleteVern, I have followed your's and Deb's journey for the past few months as I prepared for my Stem Cell Transplant at Mayo in Arizona. You have defined love and courage facing the terrible disease. Deb is a hero as she blazed new trails for treatment and dignity. I am sorry for your loss but know you will find comfort with you family and faith. Cindy Walsh
ReplyDeleteVern, I remember Debbie McIntyre as someone who faithfully attended Mrs. Owens' Afterglow and some other activities. That was when we were both in college. I was older, I think. I'm 64. Anyway, she married you. Through the years, Debbie Cook kept me informed about you both and was so distressed when Deb got her MM diagnosis. She has followed your blog daily and kept me informed. Though I can't remember y'all as well as I might, I have fond memories of you. Deb has been a true heroine throughout this great period of testing. She is now with our Lord in heaven. She's at peace. No more pain, no more struggling. She has heard Him say: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant!" What a testimony to so many people. A family member 56 (distantly related by marriage) died Nov 4 after battling cancer of the omentum for 11 months. She too was a great witness for our Christ. Though you rejoice that she is now in heaven, the personal loss in this physical world has got to be great. I'm glad you have your three children with you--especially Amanda who is helping you most right now. I recommend very highly the following book--which you may or may not be familiar with: HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn. Reading it might help you through your period of grief.
ReplyDelete"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." (Psalm 116:15)
ReplyDeleteRemember that Jesus Christ loves Deb more than you do--impossible as that may seem...
I wrote the preceding post (mentioning Mrs. Owens and recommending HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn. I'm not used to this format and forgot to sign my name. I pray that your many good memories of times of happiness with Deb and family will bring you great comfort.
Carroll (Brandon) Simpson
Missing you, Mom. I've been obsessively following your and Dad's life on this blog for so long. It still seems unreal that you're gone. Maybe it's a bit daft of me to post this comment but somehow it makes me feel better. This blog feels like it's almost become another family member. I carry a bit of you in every cell of my body and in the pulse of my heart. Thanks for everything you gave us and for fighting that monster so bravely and so long. I will always love you.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you all. I am so sorry to hear of this great loss. Words cannot make it better, but hoping comfort comes in warm words of friends and family and knowing the positive impact of your life and the peace of heaven. Vern, I know you cared so deeply for your wife each and every day.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Jen (& Dave) Saj
Hi, Mom. It's Easter Sunday, 2013. I just wanted you to know I'm still thinking of you. Grieving you has been so much harder than I ever anticipated. I see now what it must've been like for you, losing Papa and trying your best to hold things together. It's hard processing through the memories. They're the only part of you I have left to commune with. I don't want to let them slip away but it's so painful still to think on them. And, oh, how I struggle with regrets, chances I let slip by, phone calls I never made...but no matter. The past is back there and nothing I can do will change it. We had what we had and that will do. But oh, I miss you so much! Oh, how many times I feel the urge to call you up! You raised me with the notion of the dead as a cloud of witnesses surrounding our lives. I found this creepy as a youth and hoped my forebears had the decency to look away. Now I can imagine how grieving people allow themselves to be taken in by mediums and other such flim-flammers. Sometimes I say hello to you in my head, though. Recently it occurred to me that perhaps the dead cannot read thoughts. So, self-consciously, feeling ridiculous, I gave voice to my thoughts. "I love you," I said, "and I miss you so much." I hope you could hear me. If the dead can hear, perhaps, just perhaps, they can read blog comments, too. In all probability I write this only for myself. Happy Easter, Mom! I still think of you. I'm doing my best to make sure Evelyn grows up remembering that grandma who's gone, who she never got to know all that well, but who loved her so very deeply. Happy Easter, Mom! I've got to go now, the world of the living calls me away. Love you!
ReplyDelete